Tuesday 1 November 2011

The different flavours

It is a well known fact that Super Spuds are the greatest taste sensation on Earth.  Even Michelin-starred chefs cannot compete with the mind-blowing explosion of flavour which is produced by each single slice of potato.  Unknown to humans though, once the potato is flavoured and the crisp packet sealed, the ingredients of the flavouring infuse with the magic power to alter the personality of that Super Spud.
This blog will tell you about just some of the different flavours and their associated personalities.  You’ll meet many more flavours in the novel!  I hope you enjoy reading about them.
Steak and Spinach
Steak and spinach are two ingredients packed full of iron.  The result: these flavours become strong, courageous and well disciplined.  This Super Spud is always a general and likes nothing more than testing his, or her, strength and chivalry in battle.  No steak and spinach flavour has ever earned a Medal of Cowardice and their home is always the army base within the Super Spud city.
Strengths: Courage; Fitness; Stamina.
Weaknesses: Too eager to die and become a hero.  Lack of humour.
Tuna
These fishy flavours are exploding with omega-3 fish oils, giving these Super Spuds unrivalled intelligence within the Super Spud world.  Their IQ is higher than any human, and one of the first things a tuna flavour does upon reaching a Super Spud city is to take a degree in every subject at the university and gain 100% in a matter of hours.
Strengths: Intelligence.
Weaknesses: Unsocial; Over-complicates simple solutions.
Salt and Vinegar
The world’s most popular flavouring before the creation of Super Spud crisp packets now taste even better! Salt and vinegar may not be an exotic or unusual combination, but the partnership works perfectly.  These are the most popular flavours and consistently out-sell the other flavours (unless there is a limited edition flavour on release). These flavours become super arrogant at creation because they are aware - perhaps through magic - that the people of Earth love them so much and they (incorrectly) assume that other Super Spuds love them just as much.  Salt and vinegars are arrogant, crude and in love with only themselves. While generally harmless, their vanity is their weakness and they love nothing more than looking in the mirror, getting manicures and receiving compliments.
Strengths: Confidence; Charm.
Weaknesses: Cannot handle rejection; Distracted easily by mirrors.
Brussels Sprouts
Brussels sprouts are either loved by humans, or hated vehemently.  Unfortunately, those humans who hate them (mainly children) throw them away from the multipacks they are in, but not before using a torrent of harsh words and abuse to describe their disdain for Brussels sprouts flavours.  These nasty words make the Super Spud inside upset and angry at the cruel world and once their expiry date passes, they have no goodness left.  They are evil minions willing to take orders and all they want is to make other Super Spuds suffer like they did.  There are no good Brussel sprouts flavours and a fellow Super Spud doesn't want to meet one of these unless it has a general with it for protection.
Strengths: Discipline; Willingness to kill.
Weaknesses: Poor intellect; Too driven by hatred to think rationally and sanely.
Caesar Salad
Domineering and power hungry, this flavour loves nothing more than to command a unit of pizza margheritas and pillage cities and take prisoners.  Unique to Italy, they are reluctant to venture across Italian borders where the taste of food is inferior and the weather cooler.  Due to their healthy ingredients, they are permanently fit and could outrun a general for stamina. 
Strengths: Leadership; Courage.
Weakness: Power mad; Most likely to cause their own destruction.

Fisherman’s Friend
This flavour is uncomfortable upon land. Once able to move, they quickly set about making for the nearest sea, river or lake.  These flavours inhabit the giant floating rubbish barges in the oceans, built by the humans as an extra means of storing their waste.  Only the motion of the sea and the spray of sea salt in their faces makes them truly happy.  They take their orders from a designated captain, and famous captains in Super Spud history include: Captain Birdeyes and Captain Brownbeard.  Content to live their life adrift, they are a quiet flavour and harmless.  They are also expert fishermen.
Strengths: Ocean masters.
Weaknesses:  Unable to cope on dry land.


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