Super Spud cities decorate for Christmas
It's that time of the year once again and Super Spuds across the world are decorating their homes and cities in tinsel, silly string, acorns, mistletoe and baubles, hoping to win the coveted Medal of Best Christmas Decoration for their city. This highly esteemed medal grants the inhabitants of the winning city unlimited mince pies for life and a free trip to Lapland. As all Super Spuds are aware, fairy lights and flashing neon signs are banned by the Fifteenth Amendment of the Super Spud Constitution as they attract too much human attention. Mt Pinewood are the initial leaders, after an unorthodox approach decorating the city in a blanket of used human Christmas cards from previous years. The judges, a group of turkey flavours, scored the city highly on creativity.
On an end note, Super Spuds are warned to watch out for the hazards associated with the colder, winter weather. Grit and salt supplies are at all time low this winter, after an unsuccessful operation by the generals to steal fresh supplies from the humans. Be careful out there!
Double tragedy strikes Mt Viking, Norway
The 3,000-strong population of Mt Viking was decimated to only double figures yesterday after a polar bear attack and a vicious hailstorm. It is believed the inhabitants of Mt Viking were cooking a reindeer on an open fire, which lured the hungry polar bear into the city. Generals attempted to kill the polar bear by attacking it with pencils, machetes, flamethrowers and nailguns. From CCTV footage, it appears this brave defence only acted to anger the polar bear who then ignored the reindeer meat and went after Super Spuds. Hours after the attack, the Super Spuds were cleaning up the city and burying the dead when a freak hailstorm showered deadly ice pellets down on the city. The remaining Super Spuds were killed by the hail, which punctured their packages and collapsed fragile infrastructure. Super Spuds are warned not to cook meat openly within a city, as it will only suffice to attract wild animals or curious humans. After this deadly event, along with similar weather-related incidents around the world, tuna flavours have now decided to develop an early warning weather system to warn Super Spuds against imminent hailstorms, tornadoes, and flash floods. This paper has been asked, once again, by the tuna flavours that Super Spuds should not go leaving the safety of their city to chase the end of a rainbow and that there is no pot of gold. Every week at least a dozen inquisitive and gold-seeking Super Spuds are killed due to rainbows.
It was announced today that the Super Spud Winter Olympics will be held in Mt Ice Cream in Finland early next year. Although this annual event is a less popular attraction than the monthly Super Spud Olympics, the games still prove a worthy challenge for those brave enough to take part and withstand the freezing conditions. All Super Spuds are invited to travel to Mt Ice Cream and compete for the chance to win medals, money and respect. Unlike the normal Olympics, strength and fitness does not necessarily mean victory as the majority of events rely on a Super Spud sliding down ice slopes on their packaging. The smoother the package, the faster the Super Spud will travel. New events this year include: suicide ski jump, bobspud and mince pie curling.